Wolf by Wolf = Alternate Universes + Motorcycle Races + Wolves, Obviously

Wolf by Wolf by Ryan Graudin

★★★★★ — 95%

I didn’t start the Wolf by Wolf duology expecting the EMOTIONAL MURDER that was about to occur. I need a hug but I also need about 382 days to be alone and think sad thoughts.

My heart is an empty void.

Puffin is me. I am Puffin. And Puffin gets extra points because she has a publishing name and I like it. She’s going to help me with this review. Ok? Ok.

Continue reading “Wolf by Wolf = Alternate Universes + Motorcycle Races + Wolves, Obviously”

The False Prince Was Really an Anastasia Retelling and I’m Not Mad About It

The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen

★★★★ — 75%

BECAUSE IT WAS. Just with a guy instead with a girl. And with an overload of snark. STEP IT UP, SAGE, YOU’RE A ROLE MODEL. HAahahAHAhahh or not, because the snark was hilarious and I really don’t care about anything else. Shallow, I am.

Oh, and also??? May not be a good idea to check this one out at the library. The librarians look at you weird when you’re taller than all the bookshelves in the juvenile department. Juvenile!!! I’ve lost my coolness badge. (And I’m also only 5’2″ so caN YOU IMAGINE how short those bookshelves are. Really, they’re just rubbing it in.) Ebooks and bookstore copies (not stolen–I’M TALKING TO YOU, SAGE) are a much better call. And if you’d like to tell past me that that would be loooovely.

Continue reading “The False Prince Was Really an Anastasia Retelling and I’m Not Mad About It”

The Middle Grade Fantasy I Thought Was YA (Help I’m Confused and I Can’t Get Up)

The Traitor’s Game by Jennifer A. Nielsen

★★★ — 60%

HA, look at me, I’m still confused. DOES BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE MONITOR HELP??? I DON’T KNOW???

The Traitor’s Game wasn’t YA. I’m saying it like a mantra but I’m not bitter. Not! (Totally unimportant sidenote that doesn’t make me want to hide at all: I just checked Barnes and Noble and they have TTG under teen books and I’m crying and laughing and running away but I CONTEST.)

Trust me, mate. Bookstores don’t know anything.

(And thank you, Cait, for sending your ARC along!)

Continue reading “The Middle Grade Fantasy I Thought Was YA (Help I’m Confused and I Can’t Get Up)”

Christmas Gift Guide

December snuck up on me a bit this year. Did it sneak up on you, too? If it did, no worries, I’m here to make help you empty your coffers. [evil laugh resounds]*

I’ll be forcing a gift guide and some major deals down your throats today, so if you’re a victim of December’s sneakiness, looking for a last-minute gift idea for a tricksy friend, want to find a little something to treat yourself with, or simply want to laugh at me (I can’t blame you, I’m hilarious), this post is for you.

*What are you talking about, it didn’t come from me

DISCLAIMER / WARNING TO NON-BOOKISH FELLOWS

This post is catered to the glorious species of bookworm, so if you aren’t one, you’ll either be super bored, super scared, or super weirded out. It might be better if you run now. Thou hast been disclaimed.

Continue reading “Christmas Gift Guide”

What Happens When Ancient Rome Gets a Fantasy Makeover

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

★★★★★ — 98%

I’ve been all kinds of evil and have kept An Ember in the Ashes’ goodness to myself these past 82013 months, but it’s finally time to share it with you and I’m not mad. I’M NOT MAD!

It will ruin your life.
It will wreck your soul.
It will destroy your sanity.

And mate, you need it.

Continue reading “What Happens When Ancient Rome Gets a Fantasy Makeover”

Summer Book Haul Part 2 (And it’s Autumn Now So… Points to Me and My Punctuality)

Now for the second part of my summer book haul. It’s missing some pictures, but you’re a reader. You should have enough imagination to make up for it, right?

But the saddest thing isn’t the lack of pictures, the fact that I’m listening to the Greatest Showman soundtrack again, or crying over A Million Dreams. The saddest thing is that I have like three more of these haul posts to go. If something has to change, I’m ignoring it.

Continue reading “Summer Book Haul Part 2 (And it’s Autumn Now So… Points to Me and My Punctuality)”

Everything, Everything was Disappointing, Disappointing

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

★ — 25%

Everything, Everything was my first contemporary. And it promised so much.

But I don’t even know what happened.

The first half was cute and light and adorable and then the second half turned it on its head. Basically it hopped on a train and shot off at 8596 mph and left me in the dust wondering where in the world my feelings were. But I’m glad I missed the train because it ended up heading in a horrible direction.

I won’t recommend it to anyone and I won’t read it again. I wasted my time the first time. Continue reading “Everything, Everything was Disappointing, Disappointing”

Throne of Glass: Assassins, Princes, and A Fairly Pleased Me 

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

★★★★ — 90%

Throne of Glass was the second book I read this past August, and I almost had as much fun reading it as I would swimming and drowning in a sea of cake.

I’m aware that this series half lives in perennial shade and there’s very much a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing running around it, so I’m sorry if it gave you murderous tendencies and you really just want me to choke till it suffocates and dies because I only hate on it for like, a small majority of the review.*

I sort of loved the vile thing.

*Making sense is too mainstream

Continue reading “Throne of Glass: Assassins, Princes, and A Fairly Pleased Me “

September Releases I’m Dying to Get My Hands On (Also Entitled: If My Bank Account Wasn’t Already Dead It Would Be Now)

It’s September. It’s SeptemberSeptemberSeptemberSeptemberSeptemberSeptemberSeptemberSEPTEMBER.

Why am I chanting this you ask? Well:
1) I’m crazy.
2) I’M TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF IT’S NOT CHRISTMAS. BECAUSE WITH ALL THESE NEW RELEASES IT SURE FEELS LIKE IT.

Okay. I think I can believe it’s not Christmas now. I CAN DO IT, YOU DOUBTER.

Now to the point.

This month is kind of one of the best months for books ever.

If anticipation is a pit, I’m like 4,658,709,124 miles deep. (Please help me out. I need help.)

Continue reading “September Releases I’m Dying to Get My Hands On (Also Entitled: If My Bank Account Wasn’t Already Dead It Would Be Now)”

August (+ July + Maybe June) Wrap-Up Because I’m a Horrible Blogger and I’m Sorry

Wait what? June?!? JUNE?!? 

Wasn’t that like…months ago? Shouldn’t we have had this post before, you whisper?

Well. I ran away from blogging for a month or two and I missed my June wrap-up and I’m should be sent to the book blogger guillotine now. NOW. I missed July and I might have missed June and I don’t even know what’s what anymore. IT’S ALL PAIN.

I only read two books this August, BUT THEY WERE AWESOME. (SIKE, I read three. But the third one isn’t worth remembering and is better suited to burning at a stake. Spoiler: it’s Everything, Everything.)

Continue reading “August (+ July + Maybe June) Wrap-Up Because I’m a Horrible Blogger and I’m Sorry”