Wolf by Wolf = Alternate Universes + Motorcycle Races + Wolves, Obviously

Wolf by Wolf by Ryan Graudin

★★★★★ — 95%

I didn’t start the Wolf by Wolf duology expecting the EMOTIONAL MURDER that was about to occur. I need a hug but I also need about 382 days to be alone and think sad thoughts.

My heart is an empty void.

Puffin is me. I am Puffin. And Puffin gets extra points because she has a publishing name and I like it. She’s going to help me with this review. Ok? Ok.

Continue reading “Wolf by Wolf = Alternate Universes + Motorcycle Races + Wolves, Obviously”

The False Prince Was Really an Anastasia Retelling and I’m Not Mad About It

The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen

★★★★ — 75%

BECAUSE IT WAS. Just with a guy instead with a girl. And with an overload of snark. STEP IT UP, SAGE, YOU’RE A ROLE MODEL. HAahahAHAhahh or not, because the snark was hilarious and I really don’t care about anything else. Shallow, I am.

Oh, and also??? May not be a good idea to check this one out at the library. The librarians look at you weird when you’re taller than all the bookshelves in the juvenile department. Juvenile!!! I’ve lost my coolness badge. (And I’m also only 5’2″ so caN YOU IMAGINE how short those bookshelves are. Really, they’re just rubbing it in.) Ebooks and bookstore copies (not stolen–I’M TALKING TO YOU, SAGE) are a much better call. And if you’d like to tell past me that that would be loooovely.

Continue reading “The False Prince Was Really an Anastasia Retelling and I’m Not Mad About It”

The Middle Grade Fantasy I Thought Was YA (Help I’m Confused and I Can’t Get Up)

The Traitor’s Game by Jennifer A. Nielsen

★★★ — 60%

HA, look at me, I’m still confused. DOES BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE MONITOR HELP??? I DON’T KNOW???

The Traitor’s Game wasn’t YA. I’m saying it like a mantra but I’m not bitter. Not! (Totally unimportant sidenote that doesn’t make me want to hide at all: I just checked Barnes and Noble and they have TTG under teen books and I’m crying and laughing and running away but I CONTEST.)

Trust me, mate. Bookstores don’t know anything.

(And thank you, Cait, for sending your ARC along!)

Continue reading “The Middle Grade Fantasy I Thought Was YA (Help I’m Confused and I Can’t Get Up)”

What Happens When Ancient Rome Gets a Fantasy Makeover

An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

★★★★★ — 98%

I’ve been all kinds of evil and have kept An Ember in the Ashes’ goodness to myself these past 82013 months, but it’s finally time to share it with you and I’m not mad. I’M NOT MAD!

It will ruin your life.
It will wreck your soul.
It will destroy your sanity.

And mate, you need it.

Continue reading “What Happens When Ancient Rome Gets a Fantasy Makeover”

Everything, Everything was Disappointing, Disappointing

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

★ — 25%

Everything, Everything was my first contemporary. And it promised so much.

But I don’t even know what happened.

The first half was cute and light and adorable and then the second half turned it on its head. Basically it hopped on a train and shot off at 8596 mph and left me in the dust wondering where in the world my feelings were. But I’m glad I missed the train because it ended up heading in a horrible direction.

I won’t recommend it to anyone and I won’t read it again. I wasted my time the first time. Continue reading “Everything, Everything was Disappointing, Disappointing”

Throne of Glass: Assassins, Princes, and A Fairly Pleased Me 

Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

★★★★ — 90%

Throne of Glass was the second book I read this past August, and I almost had as much fun reading it as I would swimming and drowning in a sea of cake.

I’m aware that this series half lives in perennial shade and there’s very much a love-it-or-hate-it kind of thing running around it, so I’m sorry if it gave you murderous tendencies and you really just want me to choke till it suffocates and dies because I only hate on it for like, a small majority of the review.*

I sort of loved the vile thing.

*Making sense is too mainstream

Continue reading “Throne of Glass: Assassins, Princes, and A Fairly Pleased Me “

Ruin and Rising and Really It’s Just Ruin and There’s No Rising and There’s No Coming Back from This Pain

Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo

★★★★ — 85%

Can a series kill you??? SOMEONE INVESTIGATE, because I’m filled with more nerd rage than ever and it’s scaring me. Run while you still can.*

I’m going to try to not scream too much at Leigh Bardugo (this is the age of miracles and I can scream at my favorite author’s face), but who knows. I feel like I tripped on a knife.

*Just kidding, please don’t run. If you did, I’d have an emotional meltdown and throw my books at the wall in my rage/sadness…and we don’t want that, because, BOOKS. Please don’t make me hurt them.

Continue reading “Ruin and Rising and Really It’s Just Ruin and There’s No Rising and There’s No Coming Back from This Pain”

The Secret Life of the Ravkan Saint: Part 2 (Now with Privateers!!)

It’s been five months since I read Shadow and Bone and I’ve finally read the sequel. I like to be vile and unpredictable and!! I find a lot of joy in waiting as long as I possibly can to read a book WRITTEN BY MY FAVORITE AUTHOR.

Yeah, that was a lie.

The truth is that I’m lazy and irrational and I’d rather fall into a bowl of soup than admit it. MY BAD DECISIONS NEED TO GO AND HAUNT SOMEONE ELSE.

Continue reading “The Secret Life of the Ravkan Saint: Part 2 (Now with Privateers!!)”

The Young Elites??? More Like “The Young People with Special Powers and Severe Revenge Complexes”

Hahahahah WHAT WAS THIS.

If I wanted a book about a bitter, sadistic, traumatized Revenge Chick, a bitter, less-obviously freaky, just-as-traumatized Revenge Dude, and a REALLY OBVIOUSLY VENGEFUL Dude 2, I probably would’ve been climbing bookcases to get to this book but I would also probably need counseling and a really good doctor/psychiatrist/general HELP.

Oh, and also my favorite character was MURDERED, but as long as I don’t name names, that’s not a spoiler, right????

Continue reading “The Young Elites??? More Like “The Young People with Special Powers and Severe Revenge Complexes””

Finally a Real Russian Bloke to Obsess Over + Really Cool Space Pirates + Humor Everywhere + Spacial Slosh

Gemina by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

★★★★★ — 95%

“Oh hey, all your favorite characters aren’t going to be in this one, mate. We’re just going to throw them out the window and WATCH THEM FALL AND LAUGH AND TAKE PICTURES while we shove some new fellows in your way. Pretend to like them, ok?”

Mhm, yeah, that’s every bookworms’ favorite situation. AND THAT’S WHAT MY BRAIN WAS SCREAMING AT ME. SCREAMING!! LIKE THIS!! WHICH IS RUDE!! INVASIVE!! TERRIFYING!! Thank the books above that everything my brain tells me is a lie.

Continue reading “Finally a Real Russian Bloke to Obsess Over + Really Cool Space Pirates + Humor Everywhere + Spacial Slosh”